Our Freedom of Speech.

Wonder what we like?

Anything Chocolatey. Dancing. Shopping. Make Weird Expressions. Reading. Cute little kittens. And.. U figure the others!

Dislikes!

People who talk lots of shit. Too crowded places. Mental people should go to fremantle! (LOL OK!!) =). No money in our pocket is such a sh*t. =S. ok tata!

So, what do you sinnnk(think)??

Free chat widget @ ShoutMix

Men & Women.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Email timeeee.

THE TRUTH ABOUT MEN.

Things you’ll never hear a man say:-

I’d rather go shopping with you than watch the big football match.

I’ve got no idea how to fix the central heating.

Isn’t Valentine’s Day so romantic.

Does my bum look big in this.

Let’s spend the whole evening talking just about us.

I don’t want sex – can you just hold me and tell me you care.

Tell me all about your day. Then I’ll tell you all about mine.

The expression, “Silence is golden” was first thought of by a man but first uttered by a woman.

Male speech is minimalist. It has no place for the twists and turns, the flowery imagery and innuendo that embellishes the speech of females. Shortly after meeting a woman in a club a man is likely to say ‘Let’s go to my place and have sex’ A woman compensates for the man’s lack of language skills by filling in the blanks. She will know that what he is trying to say in his pathetic little way is ‘I am a desperately lonely slob with absolutely no social graces but having consumed eight pints of beer I have plucked up the courage to come over and talk to you and make a complete fool of myself.’

No man has ever bought himself potpourri or scented candles.

The ‘Centre for Approximate Guesses’ located in Glasgow, Scotland have shown that when a woman is suffering from PMT her partner is:

100 times less likely to have sex

10 times more likely to get a black eye

20 times more likely to have to work late at the office.

A man’s fix for every problem:-

Don’t worry.

It won’t happen.

Forget about it.

But we do talk!

That’s not what I meant!

I was not looking at that girl in the skimpy red lycra top . . .

Of course I care – didn’t I once buy you flowers?

Top Five Things Men Know About Women

After years of research carried out by the world’s leading philosophers, psychologists and philatelists it can finally be revealed that the Top Five Things Men Know About Women are :-

1. Nothing!
2. Nothing!
3. Nothing!
4. Nothing!
5. Nothing!

A recent study by ‘The Centre for Approximate Guesses’ located in Glasgow, Scotland, revealed that the average number of words spoken per day is 24,321 for women and 48 for men. When you subtract the everyday phrases uttered by every man, ‘Where’s my tie?’ ‘Is my shirt ironed?’ and ‘what’s for dinner?’ this leaves just six words to see him through the whole day.

THE TRUTH ABOUT WOMEN.

Things you’ll never hear a woman say:-

Can we discuss that later – I’m watching the football.

I’ve said it once – I refuse to repeat myself.

Stop me if I’ve already told you . . . .

I’ve got nothing to say about that.

I know exactly what I’ll wear tonight.

Valentine’s Day is so commercialised. I’d rather you didn’t get me anything.

Let’s go fishing.

After a party a woman can relate exactly who was there, what they were wearing, who said what to whom, etc. etc. etc. A man will be able to tell you the precise make, model and serial numbers of the computer, television and DVD.

A woman’s ability to read body language and voice intonation makes it utterly impossible for a man to lie to her face to face. If you need to tell her a small lie do it by text message. For a big lie send a postcard from a remote and distant island.

Women are an enigma – they can’t park a car in a twenty foot wide space but can spot a blonde hair on their partner’s collar at two hundred yards.

According to research women have 180 degree peripheral vision. Nonsense! Just try doing anything behind a woman’s back.

If women are so good at deciphering body language and communicating by facial expressions why oh why do they need to talk incessantly?

To women maps are very similar to murder mystery books – they provide lots of clues but the final outcome is always a mystery.

Women can’t drive – Men can’t operate a washing machine. Well - nobody’s perfect.

Women’s ability to multitask or men’s inability to do so may be a major contributor to road accidents. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is working to determine the safety risks of multitasking on the road. The organization estimates that 44 percent of drivers in the United States have cellular phones, 7 percent have e-mail access and 3 percent have fax capabilities within their cars. It also estimates that 25 percent of the 6.3 million crashes which occur each year are a result of using one of these distractions while driving.

Men believe that there is no need to speak unless you have something to say. Women believe that if you have nothing to say then you need to talk about why you have nothing to say.

----------------------------

I am soooooooo gonna go to bed early today. Didn't sleep yesterday. Can't sleep. pfft.

posted by Alisa / Anisah @ 6:34 PM

0 Comments: